Your Hired!

We are all a negotiators. Every day we are negotiating whether it is over what to eat for dinner, what movie to see, or the price for a car, house, or a credit card. Learning to negotiate can be daunting and intimidating but, there are no magic negotiation skills. Anybody can learn how, it just takes a little negotiation tactics practice.Negotiation-Sign-1024x784

 In my previous blog I talked about how to negotiate a job offer, now I’m going to delve a little deeper in to you as a negotiator. What is your personal style, how do you get what you want.

Every negation is a personal experience. You may have heard that the best way to gain favor in the eyes of another is to emulate their behavior. It is human nature to like those who are like us. Since we cannot separate ourselves from the situation when negotiating, winning the approval from those we negotiate with is a crucial step to becoming a better negotiator.

Peter Urs Bender’s created a Guide to Strengths and Weaknesses of Personality Types We can use this to identify how to tailor your approach to the individual.

Analytical IntellectualSystematicDiligent UnemotionalPerfectionistInflexible
Amiable LikeablePatientTactful Lacks AssertivenessUnproductivePush-Over
Driver Self-SufficientDecision MakerUnwavering UncooperativeBossyInsensitive
Expressive Clear CommunicatorEnthusiasticCreative ChatterboxExtremely IntenseUnrealistic

 Who do you want to negotiate with? Where do they fit? Have a look at the clip from the apprentice below.

Where would you place Sir Alan Sugar in the Personality types table?

I would place him as a Driver. The Driver is a goal oriented, successful, go-getter who is not afraid of taking risks. They are blunt about what they want and respect others that are the same. A Driver is a natural decision maker and their air of confidence is very persuasive. The Driver often steam rolls over others, without even knowing, in their effort to get things done and produce results!

So, how do we negotiate with a Driver? reccomends that you…

· Present succinct, specific, and structured information

· Expect to answer many “what” questions

· Be professional and focused

· Discuss projected results

· State facts, not opinions

· Focus on the “Big Picture”

· Give alternative options

Sir Alan may be to the extreme of the Driver type but as long as you know what to expect you can’t be caught off guard. Always think about who you are negotiating with. Also have a go at identifying yourself in the table.

 I placed myself as Expressive, Where do you fit?

Please share your experiences of these personality types, how did you deal with them?

To have a look at how to negotiate with the other personality types in the table click here

Put the stapler down! – Dealing with conflict in the workplace


Conflict at work can be stressful and leave you feeling unmotivated. Whether it is a clash of personalities or a disagreement in opinion. Conflict with a fellow employee or manager is often unavoidable and stressful.

How do you deal with conflict? Do you deal with it head on, go in all guns blazing or perhaps you avoid it all together.

From my experience I find that most people would avoid confrontation at all costs. The Conflict Avoidance Cycle is a good way to display the ways people view a potential conflict.


Unfortunately, most conflict gets worse when left alone, so the conflict gets to the point at which it must be confronted. Our anxiety causes us to handle the conflict badly, and so perceptions of conflict as something bad are confirmed, and the cycle starts again.

It’s hard to get your self out of this vicious circle. When you avoid something for too long it builds up until you reach boiling point, this is when you can act irrational and say things that shouldn’t be said.

Does this all sound familiar to you?

Have you found yourself trying to dodge a disagreement for an easy life?

Conflict is generally viewed negatively but, it is the root of social and personal change; it is a natural outgrowth of interactions with others and the choices made in those interactions.

 We all have choices in conflict situations, we are all responsible for our own actions, and we can make a difference in our lives and in others’ lives.

“Although conflict is inevitable, it need not, and should not, harm our relationships with others, get out of hand or turn violent.“  R. Lulofs author of Conflict from Theory to Action

One way to improve the way you tackle conflict is The S-TLC system, which is an acronym for Stop, Think, listen and communicate.  By following these four steps, one can often resolve interpersonal conflicts through basic communications skills such as assertiveness.  Here it is broken down for you.


Once you’ve identified a conflict has arisen, begin by saying: Stop! Take a time out. If this means leaving the room do whatever is necessary for you to cool off. Everyone has their own techniques to calm down, find out what works for you and take the time to assess the situation before you respond.


Think before you act! Try not to take things personally. Avoid jumping to conclusions. Remember to take things a step at a time. What are the outcomes of the situation and your relationship with the other person?


Listen before you say anything. People tend to want to justify themselves when they are criticised, rather than listening to what the other person is saying. Listening is a way to affirm  the value and worth of others.


Decide how to communicate and do it! Communication is the activity of conveying information through the exchange of thoughts, messages, or information, as by speech, visuals, signals, writing, or behavior. It is also between two or more people, so make sure you are taking in what the other person is saying.

Has this been helpful in a conflict for you? It’d be great to hear your own techniques to deal with workplace and even at home.

Conflicts arise everywhere so learning these skills can be transferable throughout your everyday life.  So, remember S-TLC

Negotiate your way to your dream job




You got the job!

They chose you!


But, don’t take that sigh of relief just yet, here it comes…

The awkward moment you have to negotiate!

Searching for a job can be stressful, so, in the excitement of getting a job offer it can be easy to be overzealous in accepting and forgetting what’s important.

Take a moment to think about what you have been offered and what your needs are, Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs can help you consider what’s important and essential for you.


The way you handle this negotiation is critical to any new role and to your long-term career. Get it right and you will be respected as a professional able to balance the needs of individual and company. Get it wrong and you risk starting on the wrong foot with your new employer — or even jeopardizing the offer. Continue reading